"Just 'cause you ain't paranoid, doesn't mean they ain't out to get you."

Alltså, jaa, jag kände mig förföljd av en viss person och var tvungen att skriva om det. Mitt första SGA-fic, so don't be to hard on me!

”You’ve got to help me!” Rodney McKay was literally running around in circles as he entered the room, and kept looking behind his shoulder every third second or so.
“Rodney…” John Sheppard said, with just the right annoyed tone. “I’m kind of in the middle of something here…”
“I can see that!” Rodney snapped. “And I would very much appreciate it if you could just leave for a moment, Teyla.”
“That won’t be necessary” John said.
“In fact, it will.”
Teyla let out a sigh and shook her head. “It’s fine, major. We can continue later, I was going to talk to Ronon anyway” she said, and before anyone could stop her, she left the room.
John looked after her for a second, and then turned to Rodney again.
“What is it?” he wondered angrily.
“Well, I sort of have this problem and, well, I’m not sure what to do, really…”
“We’ve been over this before!” John interrupted him. “I’m not gonna try and talk Carson into dating you.”
“Well, you see, now it will take me even longer to get to the point, ‘cause I will have to defend myself against those very inappropriate accusations!” It didn’t take Rodney more than a word or so to see that he was babbling about all kind of random stuff that didn’t make sense even to him, but it wasn’t his fault, really, that Sheppard just had to be so mean to him. If he would just listen, he would, too, realize just in how deep shit Rodney actually was.
“Okay, so tell me then.”
Rodney took a deep breath.
“I’m being followed” he said. “And I know, it could be just a feeling, and we’re all paranoid at some point in life, but this is different! I… I see him. And sometimes, I wake up at night and when I open my eyes – he’s there, looking at me!”
“Wow” John said, thoughtful. “Having a girl in your head really messed you up, didn’t it?”
“I’m serious!” Rodney almost shouted. “Here, look at this picture. It’s me, in my room, tidying.”
“Soo…?” John asked, and wondered why anyone would ever want to have a photo of yourself tidying your room. If you weren’t really good-looking of course, like Brad Pitt, then it might be okay.
“Don’t you see him? He’s right there, behind that bookshelf!”
John took a closer look, and – however crazy it might be – suddenly understood what Rodney was talking about. Behind the shelf you could clearly see a man’s head, and ever though it was half-covered by a camera John noticed that it was both bald and still had this distinct manliness over it. Bruce Willis? No, it couldn’t be.
“Who is it?” he asked.
“Hans Fahlén” Rodney answered quietly, as though he was afraid to speak out the name loud.
“Who?”
“A Swedish TV-star. He has this travelling program on Channel 4 and I’m guessing they’re not investigating whether or not Atlantis is a good place to spend your vacation on.”
“Well, what else would he do here?” John grinned, this was actually funny, in a very bizarre way.
“I don’t know, but this is not funny!” Rodney cried out. “I-I-I-, I don’t even know what to do with myself, it’s all like ‘is he watching?’, ‘is he not watching?’, ‘will I wake up dead tomorrow’, it’s driving me crazy.”
“Rodney, Hans Fahlén is not stalking you!”
“Yes he is!”
“No, he’s not.”
“Oh yeah? Then how come all Carson and Zelenka could take about the other day was how much they missed the travelling shows they used to watch on National Geographic, hmm? And, and how do you explain the fact that Weir were explaining the awesomeness of Bruce Willis for Teyla yesterday after the briefing? I don’t know about you, but Hans Fahlén and Willis are the only bald, yet manly men I know about!”
“Are you even listening to yourself? This is madness!”
“Is it? Then how do you explain that when I was reading a few minutes ago, in a book that was printed 1905, a certain Hans Fahlén was mentioned in it? Coincident? I think not!”
“Don’t you think you’re overreacting a bit?” John asked, this was actually not that amusing anymore. Rodney couldn’t be serious, could he?
“A guy is watching me in my sleep!” Rodney screamed. “How in the world could I be overreacting!? If anything I think I’m underreacting!”
“That’s not even a word.” John dared him to disagree with him.
“That is not important. What’s important is that I want security to be doubled, no, tripled outside my quarter from now on!”
“Is that really gonna help? I mean this Hans-guy is obviously smart enough to get through the stargate without us noticing, don’t you think it would be better to detonate an atomic bomb next time you see him to make sure he doesn’t survive? Or call Superman for help?”
“That’s just silly” Rodney said. “You know as well as I do that Superman can’t get here, there’s too much kryptonite in the ground.”
“Am I dreaming again?” John asked, suddenly realizing what this was all about. “Rodney, I’ve told you a million times to stay out of my dreams!”
“I can’t help it” Rodney smiled. “You fall for it every time.”

That's enough of that shit.